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Bang Energy, a popular energy drink, has numerous flavors from Krazy Key Lime Pie to Radical Skadattle. 

Bang Energy, a popular energy drink, has numerous flavors from Krazy Key Lime Pie to Radical Skadattle. 

Y’all know what time it is

It’s finals season. I recommend Bang Energy to get through it. 

It’s pretty simple, really: One can of Bang Energy offers 300 mg of caffeine, which is “more than two cups of coffee,” a label — I’ll say it, a “warning” label — on each can says. Finals are about getting through those five days as full throttle as possible. So, why not give yourself the best chance at staying up and retaining those tidbits of information? 

Bang also contains vitamins. Per the can’s nutrition facts: 60% of daily recommended vitamin B12 and 30% vitamin C, vitamin B6 and niacin 5 in its 16 fluid ounces. Down the line, chronic issues like osteoporosis can develop from low vitamin intake. 

Quite literally, it’s a legal performance-enhancer that allows you to think and execute this final week at peak form.

Here are some recommendations based off a number system, 1-10. One is I don’t recommend it in a million years, 10 is drop what you’re doing and try the flavor right now. 

This is my go-to. If any funky-looking flavor labels are turned the other way in the Harrison Hall vending machine, I know exactly what my tried-and-true looks like. What I love about black cherry vanilla is that it’s multidimensional. It hits just as much in the winter as it does in the summer — when it’s cold out, the soothing vanilla finds a way to fill my insides with warmth. When it’s warm out, like during finals season, have no fear — the cherry will overtake the vanilla and make you dream of being on the beach as soon as the last exam ends. 

It’s also nostalgic. You’ll feel like you’re in second grade at lunch with your wild cherry Capri Sun, back when there wasn’t a worry in the world — you’re transported back to the time you spent plotting which game to play at recess or how you’d sneak in some video game time after school. I won’t lie to you: This flavor isn’t magical enough to underscore the stress of finals — no flavor can — but it might help, just a smidge. 

This one deserves more notoriety. The co-writer on this story hadn’t tried it until a few months ago. He liked it, but I love it. If anything screams summer, it’s lemon drop. 

It tastes like a soda, but it’s crisp like lemonade, all the while supplying you with a night’s worth of energy to power through that last-minute study session or essay. The carbonation perfectly complements the touch of tang that each sip brings. Even when finals end, this is the perfect drink to take to the beach in mid-May when all the worries of finals season are past you. While it upholds its value all summer long, get on it sooner rather than later. You won’t be disappointed. 

Now, while my co-writer hadn’t tried Lemon Drop, Radical Skadattle is a flavor I slept on — it’s what you’d call a “late bloomer” for me. 

I’ve only had it once, but it certifiably slaps. Going back to the Capri Sun drawing board, it gives off big wild berry vibes: a plethora of fruity flavors having a dance party on your tongue’s taste buds. With that said, there’s maybe too much going on. There isn’t one dominant taste. While it may be just what you need to wake up your brain and take on that last page of a paper, on the same token, it may be distracting. It’s a solid choice, but it doesn’t rise to the cream of the crop like Lemon Drop or Black Cherry Vanilla. 

This is strictly a nostalgia pick for me — it’s the first Bang Energy I ever tasted, courtesy of a pseudo-recommendation from my already-hooked roommate. I remember it vividly: I was about two pages into a story for my old column, “A Wealth of Health,” just after moving into my apartment in August 2021. I hit a wall. Words weren’t coming to me, and I needed a bump. 

I had a few sips of Blue Razz around 8:40 p.m., then a second wind hit me: I wrote three pages in the same time it took to write one. Words flooded into my consciousness seamlessly. Everything flowed perfectly. I wouldn’t go as far as to say a secret ingredient hidden in Blue Razz was the catalyst for this stream of consciousness, but more so that it was the first Bang I ever had. But, who knows — semi-enlightenment may also dawn upon you amid four finals in two days.

Grant Johnson is a sophomore media arts and design and writing, rhetoric and technical communication double major. Contact Grant at breezesports@gmail.com. For more editorials regarding the JMU and Harrisonburg communities, follow the opinion desk on Instagram and Twitter @Breeze_Opinion.

The go-to Bangs to get you through this finals week

The Breeze may have thought it'd seen my last piece of hard-hitting journalism, but I’m happy to step out of retirement to share some opinions I’m truly passionate about. Here’s my Bang recommendations to get you through this finals week, not sponsored by Bang.

I know what you’re thinking, but trust me. I’m definitely not going to argue that everything Bang has experimented with has been a home run — I’m looking at you, Chocolate Peanut Butter Blast — but Krazy Key Lime Pie hits it out of the park for a unique flavor. Part of the appeal of Bang, at least for me, are all the interesting flavor options, and Krazy Key Lime Pie isn’t something you’ll find in a Red Bull or a Monster.

This Bang was first recommended to me by a friend, and it’s safe to say that was some of the best advice I’ve ever received. Let me pay it forward by giving you that same advice to overcome your final exams. 

This drink is probably a sleeper pick for the top slot, but Bang really hits the nail on the head with the accuracy of the flavor. It’s almost scary how they can make it taste so close to the real thing. This Bang is definitely my go-to and has gotten me through some tough mornings and early classes. I swear I don’t even go and get cans of Krazy Key Lime Pie Bang, they just end up in my hand.

Whole Lotta Piña Colada — 8.1/10

Imagine my surprise when I saw that Grant, the co-writer of this piece, tried to tell you, the reader, that “if anything screams summer, it’s Lemon Drop.” Yes, that’s a real quote. Allow me to introduce you (and Grant, evidently) to Whole Lotta Piña Colada.

Now, I understand the coconut flavor can lend itself to some harsh debate, so I know I’m taking a risk here. However, as a lifelong defender of Almond Joys, I’d be doing myself a disservice to not include Whole Lotta Piña Colada on this list.

Once you get past the name — which is hard with this one, I admit — Whole Lotta Piña Colada delivers. So much so, in fact, that I’ve converted a coconut-hater or two with this very drink. While you might be wishing you were back on spring break this finals week and not ingesting a necessary 300 milligrams of caffeine just to stay awake, this drink is the closest you’ll get to tasting summer vacation before turning in that last exam.

The first time I had a Purple Haze Bang was a JMU game day — and yes, that was by design. I can’t lie, I went in with low expectations. It took me a while to get over the mental block of associating the name with artificially-flavored grape cough medicine, but I’m happy to report that my concerns were unfounded. While Purple Haze isn’t necessarily my go-to, I find myself revisiting it when the stars align just right and I’m looking for a change of pace. 

Even if you’re someone who has a complicated history with purple-flavored things, definitely consider giving Purple Haze a try. It’s not the dreaded artificial grape flavor that comes to mind, or even anything close. It’s easy to overlook this drink in the presence of other, more eye-catching flavors, but sometimes the simple ones do it best. In short — that horrible grape cough syrup that your mom made you take when you were a kid walked so Purple Haze Bang could run.

Oh, and it’s worth mentioning that JMU won that game, if you were wondering.

Candy Apple Crisp is criminally underrated in the Bang discussion, from what I can tell. This flavor, similar to Purple Haze, suffers from not being too outwardly interesting. When I first tried Candy Apple Crisp, I couldn’t believe it didn’t have a better reputation.

I went in with pretty low expectations on this one, too, but I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this drink. Don’t fall into the trap of assuming this is some apple juice that happens to fall just short of your recommended daily caffeine limit, the flavor is way better than that.

Candy Apple Crisp does well what Purple Haze does well — it’s not too much. While Bang has some intense flavors for when you’re in the mood for something unique, flavors like this one are good when you don’t feel like getting slapped in the face by Cotton Candy or Birthday Cake Bash for your exam at eight in the morning.

But, regardless of what Bang you go with to get through that late night study session, at least we can all agree on one thing — it’s better than Red Bull.

Connor Murphy is a senior International Business major. Contact Connor at murph2cj@dukes.jmu.edu. For more editorials regarding the JMU and Harrisonburg communities, follow the opinion desk on Instagram and Twitter @Breeze_Opinion.

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